Monday, February 27, 2012

How to make a pizza, according to a 2 year old.

 Making pizza can be kind of tricky. Today I thought I would help make it a bit easier for you, by letting my 2 year old show you how it's done.

 First you need a base. Something to put the toppings on. In this case, we used a tortilla. Easy enough right? You can go ahead and make some fancy pizza dough, but who wants easy?

 On top of the base you need to apply a sauce. This can be anything from pizza sauce, to BBQ sauce, to Ranch dressing. Whatever you want. Put some mayo on it if you want, it's your pizza. Don't let anyone tell you different. 

 Typically you want to swirl your sauce around. Corbin prefers the "splat" method. Hit that sauce with the spoon. Not only will it splatter out, therefor spreading the sauce (eventually) but you will make a large mess, which is satisfying.

Next comes the cheese. Mozzarella is the best for pizza, but once again, this is your pizza. Use whatever you want. You could even go cheese-less if you want!

 Typically you would spread your cheese around so the pizza was covered. That is obviously not the way to do it. One big large mountain of cheese works best.

Next comes the toppings. Meat, veggies, whatever. Pick what you like and put them on. Once again, you may think spreading around is best. No, the mountain method works best and you thought wrong. Also make sure you have a lot of meat. 1 lb or more on that mountain is best.

 Next comes the most important part. The pat/press down. Make sure you press that meat into the cheese. You don't want it falling off in the oven.

 Stop for a photo opportunity with your Mom, but refuse to look at the camera because you have given up on the pizza and have moved on to oranges. It's healthier.

By this time your Pizza should be in the oven cooking. You don't have time to care about that though, because you are worried about your orange, remember? Ignore that fact that people are telling you to wait and they will help you with the orange. Proceed to pick off pieces of the peel and throw them wherever you feel looks too clean.

In general, act cute. If you do that, you will get your orange, trust me.

 Eventually your pizza will be done. If you follow Corbin's method of pizza making, it will be delicious and you will love it.

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